What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
My penis needs a shock collar
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
