Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize