Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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