dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
