you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
