My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
