Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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