I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize