And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize