she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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