Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
