I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
