White coat. Heels.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize