I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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