Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
