it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize