even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
