You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
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