I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
