I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
