shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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