For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
