i would punch a child for taco bell
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
