Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize