I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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