Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
