i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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