Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
