There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She needs sedatives and a leash
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize