So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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