Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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