someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
