I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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