I'm going to rape someone's good day.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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