Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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