I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
