And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
