At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
