is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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