I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You should frame my arrest warrant.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
