I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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