all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
