if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
