I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
