lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
