Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
My breasts were aching with rage.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
