I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
