Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
