After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
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