I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
