We're facebook friends in real life
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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