Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Im part way to drunk.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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