I'm really into asian looking animals
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
