Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
