I need help removing her.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
