I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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