i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
