Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
