I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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