We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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